She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
