five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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