Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
