I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
be right there i have to get my cape
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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