he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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