I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
