I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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