No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
