she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
