I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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