I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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