my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
