Nicole vs. Life
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
