"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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