hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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