no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
