When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize