he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Houston, we have a blender
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
