how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
