So drunk its hurt
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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