You just made me feel so damn special
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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