You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
