Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
