You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
