Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
