I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
