Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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