you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
