We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
