In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
