She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize