its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
