Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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