New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
