the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
