I look better un-naked...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
