Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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