dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
