Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
