Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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