i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
