Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
