After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
