I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
