and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
