Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
