i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i've created a new STD.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
