You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
