She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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