hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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