how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
