Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
