btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
