I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize