u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
