Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
