This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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