I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
