he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize