Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
