Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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