just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
