Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he was CRYING into my vagina
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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