either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
