I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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