Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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