you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i can run in heels then i can drive
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
