My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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